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Don’t be that guy

Posted by Tatjana Vukic | 27-11-2010 20:10 | Category: Abuse, Women's Issues

Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton: Don't be that guy

The “Don’t be that guy” campaign launched by Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton, is intended to raise awareness among young men that intoxicated women cannot consent to sex.

According to the campaign site, this is a new approach:
“Typically, sexual assault awareness campaigns target potential victims by urging women to restrict their behavior. Research is telling us that targeting the behavior of victims is not only ineffective, but also contributes to how much they blame themselves after the assault. That’s why our campaign is targeting potential offenders - they are the ones responsible for the assault and responsible for stopping it. By addressing alcohol-facilitated sexual assault without victim-blaming, we intend to mark Edmonton on the map as a model for other cities.” ... “Through these campaigns we will raise awareness, challenge myths, fight victim-blaming, and stand in solidarity with survivors.”

The “Don’t be that guy” campaign makes it clear that sexual intercourse committed without mutual consent is a rape. And rape is a crime. The truth that many women already know. But many men are not aware of it or they don´t want to know or they just play it down by explaining that there are also women of “questionable character”...

But what was also not discussed for a long time, is the fact that Alcohol is the most common “date rape” drug. [Wikipedia

The date rapes are not being punished enough and in many cases also go unpunished.
It is a campaign that gets under the skin. And one can very quickly start a debate about it.
Whether all remain politically correct, is questionable.

I remember very well the movie with Jodie Foster The Accused in the 80’s and all the controversies that have begun at the time of the film. “No means no” campaign in all variations had its peak in all media.
Now 20 years later, I would say problem was never gone. I hope for more such good campaigns against sexual assault.

See the second print ad after the jump.

Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton: Don't be that guy

Sexual Assault Voices of Edmonton


Comments about Don't be that guy

I have mixed feelings about this campaign.  I do like that it targets behaviours rather than telling survivors how to avoid being raped.  However, the frequent portrayals of the campaign as “finally telling men not to be rapists” is more than a little minimizing to male rape survivors.  Further, it does give the impression that only men commit rape and that they are all going to be rapists unless taught otherwise.  Consent campaigns are an improvement, but I take offense at the concept that I have to be taught not to be a rapist.  When I was the age of the target demographic - I was being raped - by a woman who used alcohol she bought to drug me.  I’m not a statistical anomaly, more than simply a deliberately ignored demographic.  Consent is not a gender issue, regardless of how some may wish to paint it for their own purposes.

The woman who raped me BOUGHT my drinks for me and spiked the second one before doing what she wanted and then blackmailing me into silence. Of course, I’ve been told by both men and women that I must have wanted it, was at fault for drinking with a woman I didn’t know, men can’t be raped, women can’t be rapists and every other victim-blaming tidbit you can think up.

Someone never told my rapist “Don’t Be That Gal.” 20 years, countless panic attacks, years of lost sleep, and thousands of dollars in therapy bills could have been avoided if she’d cared about consent herself.  How many women violate the consent of their partners regularly, only to get away with it because female on male rape is considered a big joke, or worse - that he was asking for it (i.e., erections = consent, men can’t be raped, men always want sex).

Somedays I hate her and other days I reserve my stronger emotions for those who make excuses for people (not just men) who violate consent and do what they want, when they want, without regard to the damage they leave behind.

Posted by James Landrith | 11-03-2011 04:34

Comments about Don't be that guy

I agree with you that there is a need for campaigns to recognize that males can be victims of sexual assault as well as females. However, I disagree with your point that campaigns should tell victims how to avoid being raped. Campaigns like that put the blame of the attack on the victim rather that holding rapists accountable to there actions. The fault lies with the rapist who commits the act, not on the victim.

Posted by Stephanie | 13-04-2011 19:30

Comments about Don't be that guy

Stephanie,  I’m confused.  No where in my comments did I advocate or argue for campaigns to tell people how not to get raped.  In fact, I praised this campaign for targeting behaviors (by those who perpetrate), rather than tell people how not to get raped.  I would never and have never supported campaigns that “teach” how not to be raped.  I do not appreciate having words put into my mouth.

Posted by James Landrith | 13-04-2011 19:51

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