An anonymous activist group (claimed to be The Yes Men) has launched a hilarious spoof site called “Coal Cares”, and has attributed it to Peabody Energy, the world’s largest private-sector coal company (who are none too happy about it!)
The site takes aim at corporate greenwashing initiatives, offering free Batman, Dora, or Justin Bieber asthma inhalers to parents of children living within 200 miles of a coal plant, and presenting a “Kids’ Koal Korner” with downloadable paper-and-crayon games:
The parody here is almost painfully faithful to the worst clichés of greenwashing, from the joyous stock imagery and the cartoon characters to the creative logic of the “Facts”:
Coal power is solar power.
That’s because millions of years ago, before coal began to form from decaying organic matter, the sun provided the energy that organic matter required to grow and die.
Wind turbines can kill up to 70,000 birds per year, or 4.27 birds per turbine per year. Coal particulate pollution, on the other hand, kills fewer than 13,000 people per year.
In just 30 minutes, a human being absorbs 2.5 million joules of energy from the sun—enough, for most people, to cause sunburn.
They even manufacture a cause for their Corporate Social Responsibility efforts: “Asthma-Related Bullying (ARB)”
Not coincidentally, May is Asthma Awareness Month in the United States.